Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

Terms Of Tiger's Divorce

Former super-couple Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are making it official with one of the highest-profile divorces in sports. Here's how it will work:

Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—In an announcement highly anticipated by sex fans around the world, Tiger Woods told a small gathering of reporters, family, and lovers Friday that the most dominant fornicator on the planet would soon return to sex.

Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods may be the greatest golfer of all time, but how great does that make him?

Tiger Woods Putts Baby Into Diaper

ORLANDO, FL—Tiger Woods added yet another accomplishment to his already outstanding résumé Sunday when the 13-time major winner successfully putted his baby daughter, five-month-old Sam Alexis Woods, into a fresh Huggies...
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Tiger's Slump

Despite one great come-from-behind tournament win, Tiger Woods has not been the same golfer since returning from surgery. Some signs he's not at his peak:

Despite the massive acreage at Doral, still managed to slip on only banana peel on entire course

Rather than yelling, "Fore!" after his bad shots, Woods now collapses in pain while yelling, "My knee!"

Wrote an article for Golf Magazine titled "What's Wrong With Tiger Woods?"

When he walks, leg makes a sound like a celery stalk being twisted

New Gatorade "Tiger Focus" flavor tastes like knee pus

Clubs thrown in fit of anger traveling farther than his disappointing drives

Before replacing his divots, picks them up, stares at them forlornly, says, "That's like my knee"

No longer wins every single tournament he enters

Tiger Woods

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