Tips For New College Graduates

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How To Talk To Your Child About Death

When your family has experienced a loss, it can be a difficult concept for young children to process. The Onion breaks down the best ways to converse with your child about the realities of death

Jayson Werth Catches Foul Ball Without Spilling Beer

WASHINGTON—In an incredible play that drew cheers from the whole stadium, Washington Nationals left fielder Jayson Werth managed to catch a foul ball Tuesday night without spilling the beer he was holding in his other hand.

NASA Deploys Congressional Rover To Search For Funding

WASHINGTON—Calling the program “the most crucial in the agency’s history,” researchers at NASA announced Wednesday they have successfully deployed a Special Exploratory Rover to Congress as part of an open-ended mission to seek out any possible trace of funding on Capitol Hill.

What The Planet Will Look Like In 2100

As scientists try to project the effects of climate change into the future, many of these forecasts only go as far as 2100, a year beyond which the alterations to our environment become much harder to predict. Here is a breakdown of what we can expect our world to look like in 2100
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Tips For New College Graduates

  • Find the shittiest apartment known to humankind and move in with three people you don’t know from Craigslist
  • Send one resume out and wait at least one year to hear back
  • Remember to use your $35 Best Buy graduation gift card from your uncle wisely
  • Contract any severe diseases now while you’re still covered under your parents’ health insurance
  • Tell people you want to go into venture capital and they’ll be impressed
  • Whole Foods stores throw out a surprising amount of hummus that is still totally fine
  • As you begin your job search, make sure there are no typos on the first 11 or 12 pages of your cover letter
  • If you want to explore your interests and expand your horizons, you should’ve done that two years ago when you had the chance