adBlockCheck

Tips

Choosing The Right Dog For You

Once you decide to get a dog, there’s a wide range of adoptable pets to choose from, whether it’s a mutt or purebred. The Onion offers some helpful tips for choosing the dog that’s right for you.

Choosing The Right School For Your Child

With a new school year beginning soon, parents are making decisions about which type of school best fits their child’s needs. The Onion breaks down what each has to offer.

The Onion’s Beach Bag Essentials

Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Tips For Pulling An All-Nighter

Getting a good night’s sleep is imperative for good health, but once in a while it’s necessary to stay up all night to get work done. Here are The Onion’s tips for pulling an all-nighter:

  • Before you decide to pull an all-nighter, ask yourself if you can afford to put off your work another day, beg your boss for an extension, and pull an even more stressful all-nighter the following night.
  • Think of the thrill that will come from getting to display your Facebook status as, “All-nighter…Let’s do this!!”
  • Keep multiple tabs on your browser open for quicker access to any website you haven’t visited in the last five minutes.
  • Pulling an all-nighter requires energy and focus, so get a good seven or eight hours of sleep before you begin.
  • Just keep your goddamn eyes on the ridgeline and unload the 50-cal if you see any movement.
  • When you hit an important milestone, reward yourself by taking a quick break to watch six episodes of The Wire.
  • You’re going to be at this all night, so get comfortable! Put on some big warm pajamas, throw a few nice plush pillows on your bed, snuggle up in a comforter, and get to work.
  • Roll down the window, scream at the top of your lungs, and slap yourself in the face, because if this semi-trailer full of hogs isn’t delivered by 6 a.m., your ass is grass.
  • To achieve the best possible results, it’s best not to dwell on the fact that whatever you’re working on doesn’t really matter to anyone.

More from this section

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close