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Tips

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:

How To Throw The Perfect Surprise Party

A surprise party is a nice gesture for a friend or family member, but pulling one off requires careful planning and commitment. Here are The Onion’s tips for throwing a surprise party:

Wedding Guest Etiquette Tips

Attending a wedding comes with its own set of social graces. The Onion provides a list of basic rules of etiquette for being a polite, congenial wedding guest

How To Prepare A Will

Writing a will ensures the proper distribution of your assets upon your death. The Onion takes you through the steps of preparing this important document

Cover Letter Writing Tips

While a résumé can display your past work experiences, a cover letter is your chance to show prospective employers who you really are and what you bring to the table. Here are The Onion’s tips for writing a memorable cover letter

Tips For Successful Campus Activism

With protests effecting change at colleges and universities across the country, many students are looking to follow the example and bring awareness to causes of their own. Here are The Onion’s tips for successful campus activism

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

How To Arrange A Funeral

Losing a loved one can send mourners into a haze of emotion, and funeral planning can seem like a daunting task amidst one’s grief. Here is The Onion’s step-by-step guide to making funerary preparations

Tips For Throwing The Perfect Baby Shower

Every mother-to-be deserves a celebration of her upcoming arrival, and the best baby shower is one that fuses elegance with good fun. Here are The Onion’s tips for throwing the perfect baby shower

Tips For Jury Duty

Being summoned to serve on a jury is every American’s opportunity to participate in the judicial process and perform a civic duty for their community, but it can be a time-consuming and complicated process. Here are The Onion’s tips for serving jury duty:

Tips For Conquering Phobias

Even the most rational, clear-thinking adults can have anxieties that interfere with their routine, and learning to manage them is key to living a life free from fear. Here are The Onion’s tips for conquering your phobias:
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Tips For The Perfect Cruise

Summer is a popular time of year for cruises, with everyone from singles and families to veteran passengers and honeymooners hitting the high seas on luxury liners to visit destinations around the world. Here are some tips for turning your cruise into a vacation you’ll never forget:

  • Before embarking, carefully study the figures in the brochure to get your enjoyment face just right.
  • Don’t sweat it if you’re traveling alone. Cruises are the perfect way to meet people who are unable to escape you.
  • Be sure to check out the ship’s daily report for fun and interesting charges you can incur throughout the day.
  • Speak nothing of the actions you took part in on the mainland. You are a ward of the sea now. The past is the past.
  • Although cruises offer lots of different activities, sometimes it’s best to just sit in the sun, relax, and throw chum off the side of the ship.
  • Many ships offer drop-in child care. Don’t let yourself think about what type of person would take a job there.
  • You and Jim have got to see that magician in the top deck auditorium. He’s an absolute riot!
  • Accept the fact that your daughter will be getting beaded cornrows no matter which country you visit.
  • Mealtimes are an opportunity to meet other passengers, so quickly load up your plate and eat in your cabin.
  • Get ready to limbo! Doesn’t matter whether you want to or not. We came here to have fun, not lie around in bed all day. You’re doing it.
  • Make the most of your time at stops in port cities along the way. Absorb as much as you can about the local culture by buying a magnet with a parrot on it.
  • Try as you might, your vacation photos will never look half as good as the 1985 pictures of your aunt with her giant bleached perm and cheap two-tone Wayfarer shades drinking giant margaritas and piña coladas.

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