Reasoning that he’s a grown adult who can eat food whenever he damn well pleases, local man Kyle Dunedin, 30, reportedly decided at 10:58 a.m.
Having a child who refuses to eat most foods can be both frustrating and alarming for parents, but there are ways to work through this phase as a family. Here are The Onion’s tips for handling a picky eater:
- It’s important to build positive associations with food, so fill your child’s favorite stuffed animal with Swiss chard.
- If you’re a parent who’s pressed for time, a little popcorn crust and carrot foam can do wonders for the most prosaic of salmon mousses.
- Set an example by eating anything your child hands you.
- Your child cannot be expected to understand the scientific studies linking early eating habits with good health later in life, but you can at least encourage him to read the abstracts.
- “Ants on a log,” or celery sticks filled with peanut butter and topped with raisins, are healthy snacks that are fun to scrape out of your carpet and child’s hair.
- If your child throws a tantrum when she sees veggies on her plate, try calmly explaining to her that you never pictured your life like this.
- Butter, butter, butter.
- Mealtime should be fun! Make a game out of how long you can withstand your child’s screams before digging chicken tenders out of the freezer.