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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Tips For Investigating A Crime Scene

  • Start with a broad sweep of the area, noting any scratches in a wall, scuff marks on the floor, or a notarized letter of confession signed by the perpetrator.
  • Wrap a perimeter of yellow barricade tape around all possible suspects.
  • Carefully label and photograph each individual piece of evidence immediately after you’ve tampered with it.
  • Wait a minute. What was that? Go back to that last photograph. Enhance that area. Yeah, right there. Can you zoom in a little? My god, that’s it—what we’ve been looking for this whole time! Right in front of our noses!
  • Any gawkers should be kept barred from the crime scene, unless of course they’re very curious.


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