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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Tips For Proper Body Disposal

  • Remove any unique identifiers from the body like wallets, jewelry, fingerprints, corneas, and face.
  • Purchase a 50-gallon high-density polyethylene container at your local hardware store. Fill with hydrofluoric acid, lower in the body, close the container, then return it to the hardware store. You don’t want it lying around your house incriminating you.
  • A hacksaw or circular blade of at least quarter-inch thickness will be best for handling any tricky femurs.
  • Bodies found far from the crime scene can make it harder to pin down a suspect, so why not use this as an opportunity to take that road trip you’ve been talking about for years?
  • Always have a plan B. Namely, a few starving pigs out back.


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