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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Tips For Spoiling Your Cat

  • Throw in a few extra brushing sessions on top of the required 25 per day.
  • Double your daily calorie intake to expand the width of your lap.
  • You don’t need a special occasion to treat them to an empty cardboard box in the middle of the week!
  • Indulge your pet by setting aside an area of the house that’s just for him, such as your bed or laptop keyboard.
  • Give your cat an extra-special treat by devoting an entire day to leaving him alone.


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