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Tips

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Choosing The Right Dog For You

Once you decide to get a dog, there’s a wide range of adoptable pets to choose from, whether it’s a mutt or purebred. The Onion offers some helpful tips for choosing the dog that’s right for you.

Choosing The Right School For Your Child

With a new school year beginning soon, parents are making decisions about which type of school best fits their child’s needs. The Onion breaks down what each has to offer.

The Onion’s Beach Bag Essentials

Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Tips For Successful Campus Activism

With protests effecting change at colleges and universities across the country, many students are looking to follow the example and bring awareness to causes of their own. Here are The Onion’s tips for successful campus activism:

  • Before you start, be completely honest with yourself about whether or not your cause is stupid.
  • Build a strong membership base of whoever is available from 4-7 on Tuesday nights when Lesher Hall auditorium is available to reserve.
  • Go the extra mile by purchasing the sidewalk chalk set with the greatest variety of colors.
  • Encourage participation. Make sure that everyone who agrees with you has a voice.
  • Start with short sets of indignation before working up to longer endurance sets, flexing your disbelief and moral outrage for 10-15 reps per set.
  • Find mentorship among faculty, unless an egregious lack of mentorship is the occasion for your protest.
  • Steve’s band could play. They’ve been doing some Zaire polyrhythm stuff that could really help raise awareness.
  • Getting the president of your university to step down is the only sure way to know if you were successful. Anything less will be a hollow victory.
  • Above all, stay strong and never give up the fight! You don’t want to give “the man” the satisfaction of dismantling your demonstration by putting pressure on you or cordially agreeing to your terms.

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The Onion’s Beach Bag Essentials

Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.

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