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Tips

How To Start A Community Garden

A community gardening project is a good way to spur neighborhood involvement, but it requires careful planning and logistics. Here are The Onion’s tips for starting a community garden:

Tips For Writing A Research Paper

Students at every level of the education system are required to write the occasional research paper, and some might wonder where to begin. The Onion provides some tips for writing a stellar paper:

Home Repair Tips

When projects need to be completed around the house, calling contractors can be expensive. Here are The Onion’s tips for do-it-yourself home repairs:

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:

How To Throw The Perfect Surprise Party

A surprise party is a nice gesture for a friend or family member, but pulling one off requires careful planning and commitment. Here are The Onion’s tips for throwing a surprise party:
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Tips For Training Your Dog

Bringing a dog into the family can be as difficult as it is rewarding, and pet owners must set rules and boundaries for the newest members of their household. Here are The Onion’s tips for training your dog:

  • Start with simple commands like “sit” before working your way up to the more complicated ones like “fill the gaping void in my life.”
  • Remember that consistently good behavior will take time. You’re letting a fucking animal loose in your house.
  • Set a good example for your dog by never chasing after squirrels, no matter how badly you want to.
  • It’s important to establish dominance. Show your dog who’s boss by cleaning up its waste and paying for all its food.
  • Consistency is key. Remember to use the same expletive every time your dog chews up your shoes.
  • Dogs crave clear direction, so be sure to schedule yours for quarterly performance reviews.
  • Remain patient during training sessions with your dog, as English is not its first language.
  • Rather than simply saying “no” to your pet, engage it in a constructive dialogue about the moralistic implications of the undesired behavior.
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Tips For Writing A Research Paper

Students at every level of the education system are required to write the occasional research paper, and some might wonder where to begin. The Onion provides some tips for writing a stellar paper:

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