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Top 2011 College Football Matchups

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Top 2011 College Football Matchups

Another great college season is upon us, and Onion Sports analysts have made their picks for the year’s most thrilling games.

  • Nebraska at Wisconsin, Oct. 1: The Huskers will be welcomed into the Big Ten with some hard-nosed defense and a small slice of Angel food cake
  • Wisconsin at Ohio State, Oct. 29: Sure to be a good game, possibly for Big Ten superiority but almost certainly to determine which of these two teams will eventually get its ass kicked in a bowl game by a mid-ranked SEC team
  • LSU at Alabama, Nov. 5: This matchup could decide which team goes to the national title game, or maybe they will both lose all their games before this, or maybe we will all get a deadly flu virus and die
  • Texas at Texas A&M, Nov. 24: Heralded Texas schools make yet another attempt at breaking the record for most Garretts on a field at once
  • Alabama at Auburn, Nov. 26: Latest chapter in storied 118-year-old rivalry will settle once and for all which team is the winner of this year's game
  • Southern at Grambling State, Nov. 26: These teams seem to play every year, though you have no idea which division they’re in, why they're on TV, or why you're watching the entire game and actually rooting for one of them
  • Ohio State at Michigan, Nov. 26: The greatest rivalry in all of college football will look like total shit again this year

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