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Top 2011 College Football Matchups

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Top 2011 College Football Matchups

Another great college season is upon us, and Onion Sports analysts have made their picks for the year’s most thrilling games.

  • Nebraska at Wisconsin, Oct. 1: The Huskers will be welcomed into the Big Ten with some hard-nosed defense and a small slice of Angel food cake
  • Wisconsin at Ohio State, Oct. 29: Sure to be a good game, possibly for Big Ten superiority but almost certainly to determine which of these two teams will eventually get its ass kicked in a bowl game by a mid-ranked SEC team
  • LSU at Alabama, Nov. 5: This matchup could decide which team goes to the national title game, or maybe they will both lose all their games before this, or maybe we will all get a deadly flu virus and die
  • Texas at Texas A&M, Nov. 24: Heralded Texas schools make yet another attempt at breaking the record for most Garretts on a field at once
  • Alabama at Auburn, Nov. 26: Latest chapter in storied 118-year-old rivalry will settle once and for all which team is the winner of this year's game
  • Southern at Grambling State, Nov. 26: These teams seem to play every year, though you have no idea which division they’re in, why they're on TV, or why you're watching the entire game and actually rooting for one of them
  • Ohio State at Michigan, Nov. 26: The greatest rivalry in all of college football will look like total shit again this year

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