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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Top Books Of 2012

  • Smolder by Stephenie Meyer: Meyer reprises her Twilight-series success with this book: 283 pages of variations on the phrase “smoldering vampire eyes”
  • Proof Of Heaven by Eben Alexander III: Following a near-death experience, a neurosurgeon brings back a secret casserole recipe from Dennis Hopper as proof of the afterlife
  • Hey, I Remembered Some More Stuff by Tony Bennett: The legendary crooner follows up his hit memoir Life Is A Gift with some new stuff he just remembered (37 pages)
  • Book #1 In A Supernatural Trilogy by A Housewife in Missouri: To be a major motion picture in summer 2015
  • 23 Years Of ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ by Tom Bergeron: This beautiful coffee table book looks back at some of the greatest slips, falls, and mishaps of the past quarter century
  • 500 Sudoku Puzzles by Christopher Chase: The story of how one man, Christopher Chase, embarked on an arduous yet deeply rewarding journey to complete 500 Sudoku puzzles
  • The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge by The Onion: The most essential and authoritative book ever written in the history of human civilization, this august encyclopedia features thousands of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet and contains the sum total of all knowledge in the universe. Must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance
  • ‘Assassin’s Creed III’ Strategy Guide by Ubisoft: Includes a detailed walkthrough of how your life ended up like this

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