adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Top Books Of 2012

  • Smolder by Stephenie Meyer: Meyer reprises her Twilight-series success with this book: 283 pages of variations on the phrase “smoldering vampire eyes”
  • Proof Of Heaven by Eben Alexander III: Following a near-death experience, a neurosurgeon brings back a secret casserole recipe from Dennis Hopper as proof of the afterlife
  • Hey, I Remembered Some More Stuff by Tony Bennett: The legendary crooner follows up his hit memoir Life Is A Gift with some new stuff he just remembered (37 pages)
  • Book #1 In A Supernatural Trilogy by A Housewife in Missouri: To be a major motion picture in summer 2015
  • 23 Years Of ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ by Tom Bergeron: This beautiful coffee table book looks back at some of the greatest slips, falls, and mishaps of the past quarter century
  • 500 Sudoku Puzzles by Christopher Chase: The story of how one man, Christopher Chase, embarked on an arduous yet deeply rewarding journey to complete 500 Sudoku puzzles
  • The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge by The Onion: The most essential and authoritative book ever written in the history of human civilization, this august encyclopedia features thousands of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet and contains the sum total of all knowledge in the universe. Must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance
  • ‘Assassin’s Creed III’ Strategy Guide by Ubisoft: Includes a detailed walkthrough of how your life ended up like this

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close