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How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

What Compromising Information Does Russia Have On Donald Trump?

On Tuesday, it was reported that leaders of American intelligence agencies had given Donald Trump a memo advising that Russia had gathered compromising personal information about him as part of a wider effort to disrupt the election, though these claims remain unsubstantiated and both the president-elect and the Kremlin deny these reports. Here’s a look at what damaging information Russia may have in its possession.

Treat Yourself Right

This past year was a tough time for Smoove. You may remember that early on in the year, my favorite white silk suit was ruined by my dry cleaner. Not only did this mean losing one of my freshest outfits, but it also meant having to search for a new cleaner, as the trust between us had been broken beyond repair. The search for a new dry cleaner was ultimately successful, but it was long and exhausting.
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Top Prospects Of The 2013 NBA Draft

With the 2013 NBA Draft quickly approaching, Onion Sports breaks down the best collegiate and international basketball players.

  • Otto Porter (SF, Georgetown): Quintessential team player who is unselfish, hardworking, and happy to do whatever is necessary to help his teammates; is unfortunately a horrible fit for the modern era of NBA basketball
  • Giannis Adetokunbo (SF, Greece): At 6’9” with a huge wingspan drawing comparisons to Kevin Durant, the 18-year-old was nicknamed “The Greek Freak” because kids can be so cruel and hurtful sometimes
  • Victor Oladipo (PG, Indiana): Already weighing in at 215 pounds after his junior year, there’s no telling how heavy this Indiana University point guard could someday become
  • Dennis Schröder (PG, Deutschland): Schröder verfügt über unglaubliche Agilität erstaunlich offenen Gericht Geschwindigkeit und hervorragende Lesung des Bodens. Trotz seiner schlechten Schießen, hat er bereits bewiesen, dass eine der besten jungen Spieler in Europa sein
  • Anthony Bennett (PF, UNLV): Many scouts believe that Bennett has star potential, and when have NBA Draft scouts ever been wrong about somebody?
  • First Last: Scouts are heralding this hastily created 7’11” player as better than everyone else in every skill category
  • Ben McLemore (SG, Kansas): The talented shooting guard possesses the exact type of explosive athleticism that the Washington Wizards love to waste
  • Shane Larkin (PG, Miami): Undersized at 5’11”, Larkin more than makes up for it with his 25-foot wingspan
  • Alex Len (C, Maryland): Len comes from the powerhouse University of Maryland basketball program, which has recently spawned such NBA talents as that white point guard on the Lakers and the Venezuelan guy on the Hornets
  • Trey Burke (PG, Michigan): What 2013 NBA Draft guide would be complete without Trey Burke?

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