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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Top Prospects Of The 2013 NBA Draft

With the 2013 NBA Draft quickly approaching, Onion Sports breaks down the best collegiate and international basketball players.

  • Otto Porter (SF, Georgetown): Quintessential team player who is unselfish, hardworking, and happy to do whatever is necessary to help his teammates; is unfortunately a horrible fit for the modern era of NBA basketball
  • Giannis Adetokunbo (SF, Greece): At 6’9” with a huge wingspan drawing comparisons to Kevin Durant, the 18-year-old was nicknamed “The Greek Freak” because kids can be so cruel and hurtful sometimes
  • Victor Oladipo (PG, Indiana): Already weighing in at 215 pounds after his junior year, there’s no telling how heavy this Indiana University point guard could someday become
  • Dennis Schröder (PG, Deutschland): Schröder verfügt über unglaubliche Agilität erstaunlich offenen Gericht Geschwindigkeit und hervorragende Lesung des Bodens. Trotz seiner schlechten Schießen, hat er bereits bewiesen, dass eine der besten jungen Spieler in Europa sein
  • Anthony Bennett (PF, UNLV): Many scouts believe that Bennett has star potential, and when have NBA Draft scouts ever been wrong about somebody?
  • First Last: Scouts are heralding this hastily created 7’11” player as better than everyone else in every skill category
  • Ben McLemore (SG, Kansas): The talented shooting guard possesses the exact type of explosive athleticism that the Washington Wizards love to waste
  • Shane Larkin (PG, Miami): Undersized at 5’11”, Larkin more than makes up for it with his 25-foot wingspan
  • Alex Len (C, Maryland): Len comes from the powerhouse University of Maryland basketball program, which has recently spawned such NBA talents as that white point guard on the Lakers and the Venezuelan guy on the Hornets
  • Trey Burke (PG, Michigan): What 2013 NBA Draft guide would be complete without Trey Burke?

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