ARIES: Your health continues to decline as your skin becomes too sensitive to endure sunlight and your soul remains too sensitive to endure dark, smoky bars.
- The Big Bang Theory: This sitcom about a group of scientist friends earned strong ratings as Americans were way too lazy to change the channel every single time it came on TV
- Breaking Bad: Viewers couldn’t get enough of Walter’s wacky antics, be it disposing of a rival’s body in a vat of acid, or disposing of a little kid’s body in a vat of acid
- Girls: Viewers thought they wouldn’t like this comedy about young women in New York, and then kind of got into it, and then felt the characters were too whiny, and then watched the whole season
- The Office: Everyone got a lot more work done without Michael Scott mucking things up
- Dexter: Was still on TV this season
- American Shitheads: Viewers were captivated by this TLC reality series that follows people almost identical to themselves
- Treme: Oh, what about Treme? Did anybody watch Treme?
- Boardwalk Empire: Egh, not really one of the top TV shows