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Top TV Shows Of 2013

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Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Top TV Shows Of 2013

  • Mad Men: The sixth season once again defied those who said a period piece featuring attractive, stately men in warmly lit rooms could never succeed.
  • Breaking Bad: A triumphant final season of television that isn’t anywhere close to the engrossing, magical world of books.
  • Homeland: While viewers were excited to watch the third season, most agreed the show was somewhat cheapened by its reliance on dramatizing the nation’s weekly massive terrorist attacks.
  • Gunsmoke: For the 58th straight year, Gunsmoke was the hottest show on television.
  • House Of Cards: At the end of the day, there are only two types of television shows: those that chase and those that are chased. At first blush, this coonhound appears to be something of a chaser. But only time can tell if our little doggie will end up running with the big boys…or falling behind the pack.
  • Piven: The charming half-hour sitcom starring Jeremy Piven enjoyed a loyal and passionate cult following, but was unfortunately cancelled by NBC after its fifth season.
  • Phineas & Ferb: Disney Channel’s first animated show featuring transgender characters.
  • Dexter: Fans of the long-running Showtime drama got the ending they deserved.
  • Onion News Empire: Fans flocked to this Amazon original series—a behind-the-scenes look at The Onion—by the billions, making it the highest-rated pilot of all time.
  • House Of Lies: A show.

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