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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

Perplexed local man Russell Chambliss has no idea if the coworkers seated with him at Malone’s Irish Tavern are attempting to forge a male bond with him or cruelly harassing him, the 26-year-old shipping clerk told reporters Wednesday evening.

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Top TV Shows Of 2013

  • Mad Men: The sixth season once again defied those who said a period piece featuring attractive, stately men in warmly lit rooms could never succeed.
  • Breaking Bad: A triumphant final season of television that isn’t anywhere close to the engrossing, magical world of books.
  • Homeland: While viewers were excited to watch the third season, most agreed the show was somewhat cheapened by its reliance on dramatizing the nation’s weekly massive terrorist attacks.
  • Gunsmoke: For the 58th straight year, Gunsmoke was the hottest show on television.
  • House Of Cards: At the end of the day, there are only two types of television shows: those that chase and those that are chased. At first blush, this coonhound appears to be something of a chaser. But only time can tell if our little doggie will end up running with the big boys…or falling behind the pack.
  • Piven: The charming half-hour sitcom starring Jeremy Piven enjoyed a loyal and passionate cult following, but was unfortunately cancelled by NBC after its fifth season.
  • Phineas & Ferb: Disney Channel’s first animated show featuring transgender characters.
  • Dexter: Fans of the long-running Showtime drama got the ending they deserved.
  • Onion News Empire: Fans flocked to this Amazon original series—a behind-the-scenes look at The Onion—by the billions, making it the highest-rated pilot of all time.
  • House Of Lies: A show.

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