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Toughness in Sports

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Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two shits, so fuck it.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.
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Toughness in Sports

Jay Cutler's supposed lack of toughness has people discussing the gutsiest performances in sports. Here are the ones we'll always remember:

  • Kirk Gibson: The Dodgers outfielder overcame a stomach virus and two injured legs to successfully stand in one place, swing a 32-ounce stick from one shoulder to the other, and then jog 360 feet
  • Jay Cutler: Was going to get paid a hell of a lot either way on Sunday, right?
  • Tony Romo: Without telling his coaches, played through a mosquito bite he received the night before a game in 2009
  • Willis Reed: Truly embodying what New York sports is all about, the media completely clings to one photogenic star's marginally inspiring decision to play on a torn thigh muscle and ignores the fact that he only scored four points
  • Curt Schilling: With blood seeping through his sock, we forget how the rest of this whole Schilling-media jerk-off session played out
  • Ronnie Lott: Bit off his own mangled finger in order to keep playing; later in the season, dislocated his neck while trying to bite off whatever was causing his migraines
  • Daniel Snyder: The Redskins' plucky owner once overcame a bout with the flu to dump money hand over fist onto some fat old player
  • Dale Earnhardt: Drove his car into a wall and died, like a badass

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