adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Toughness in Sports

Jay Cutler's supposed lack of toughness has people discussing the gutsiest performances in sports. Here are the ones we'll always remember:

  • Kirk Gibson: The Dodgers outfielder overcame a stomach virus and two injured legs to successfully stand in one place, swing a 32-ounce stick from one shoulder to the other, and then jog 360 feet
  • Jay Cutler: Was going to get paid a hell of a lot either way on Sunday, right?
  • Tony Romo: Without telling his coaches, played through a mosquito bite he received the night before a game in 2009
  • Willis Reed: Truly embodying what New York sports is all about, the media completely clings to one photogenic star's marginally inspiring decision to play on a torn thigh muscle and ignores the fact that he only scored four points
  • Curt Schilling: With blood seeping through his sock, we forget how the rest of this whole Schilling-media jerk-off session played out
  • Ronnie Lott: Bit off his own mangled finger in order to keep playing; later in the season, dislocated his neck while trying to bite off whatever was causing his migraines
  • Daniel Snyder: The Redskins' plucky owner once overcame a bout with the flu to dump money hand over fist onto some fat old player
  • Dale Earnhardt: Drove his car into a wall and died, like a badass

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close