adBlockCheck

Tuition In Tough Times

Top Headlines

Recent News

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Tuition In Tough Times

With the economic downturn hitting scholarship funds, how are students paying for college?

  • Critiquing Foucault's Discipline And Punish on street corner for spare change
  • Selling advertising space in thesis
  • Stripping for tuition and books; prostitution for a little walking-around money
  • Taking 54 credits' worth of classes in the first semester to graduate early
  • Saving $35,000 a year by transferring to a perfectly fine state school in the place you grew up in and swore you'd never go back to
  • Refinancing parents' home behind their backs
  • Increasingly humiliating television appearances
  • Getting a job during the summer, one that pays money

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close