TV Newsmagazine Explosion

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Vol 35 Issue 05

Christopher Cross Finally Reaches Mexican Border

NOGALES, MEXICO—After nearly 20 years on the run, Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Christopher Cross finally reached the Mexican border Monday. "I had such a long way to go,"said Cross, who fled south after gunning down 10 in 1980, "but I've finally made it to the border of Mexico." Doctors, who described Cross' body as "weak," said much sleep would be necessary to restore the health of the fugitive adult-contemporary vocalist.

Area Man Has No Idea What He Went Downstairs For

METUCHEN, NJ—Thirty seconds after descending the stairs, Ken Bley, 41, announced he had no clue what he went downstairs for. "I don't think it was to get something," Bley said. "I think it might have been to check on something." Bley said that if he cannot recall his purpose in the next minute, he will return to the bedroom and try to reconstruct the train of thought that led to the mysterious task. "I'm thinking it had something to do with the kitchen," Bley said. "I have this picture of the pantry junk-drawer in my mind."

2-D Doritos Sales Lagging

DALLAS—In the wake of the launch of "Doritos 3-Ds," Frito-Lay is experiencing a sharp decrease in sales of its original two-dimensional Doritos. "The public has gone wild for our revolutionary three-dimensional chips, which, in addition to the usual length and width, also possess depth," Frito-Lay spokesman Isaac Toomer said. "So wild, in fact, they have lost interest in traditional monoplanar snack chips." Toomer said Frito-Lay is now developing a highly theoretical "Funyuns 4-D." "One day, people everywhere will enjoy crispy, extratemporal Funyuns that intersect with an infinite number of parallel universes," Toomer said. "It will be a whole new world of non-Euclidean snacking."

Magic-Markered Initials Fail To Deter Breakroom Rice-Cake Thief

FRESNO, CA—Despite clearly marking her initials on her rice-cake bag in black Magic Marker, secretary Elaine Fahey was once again the victim of I&G Marketing's breakroom rice-cake thief Monday. "Whoever's doing this really needs to learn about something called a supermarket," said Fahey, who has lost one strawberry and three caramel-apple rice cakes to the thief this month. "Rice cakes aren't free, you know." Fahey said she plans to take harsher security measures, including a Post-It note on the bag reading, "These are my rice cakes... Please get your own!!!"
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TV Newsmagazine Explosion

From 20/20 to Dateline NBC to 60 Minutes II, the prime-time airwaves are flooded with newsmagazines these days. Why are they so popular?
From 20/20 to Dateline NBC to 60 Minutes II, the prime-time airwaves are flooded with newsmagazines these days. Why are they so popular?

From 20/20 to Dateline NBC to 60 Minutes II, the prime-time airwaves are flooded with newsmagazines these days. Why are they so popular?

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