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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Ultimate Fighting Championship's Popularity

As Ultimate Fighting continues its phenomenal rise, Onion Sports runs down the most commonly cited reasons for the sport's popularity:

America's deep abiding interest in Brazilian jiu-jitsu

Professional wrestling fans like to relax and watch it after long hard days of suspending their disbelief

The fact that this shit is actually legal

Accidentally TiVo'd by people hoping to watch the Ultimate Frisbee Championship

Are heterosexual males; nothing more heterosexual than watching a well-muscled man force himself between another man's legs, mount him, and pound away at him until he submits

Because the ability to escape an arm bar isn't merely a fighting technique but a metaphor for how, in these difficult times, all Americans are trying their best to escape

Unlike many sports, has useful applications in one's home and workplace

Nice to see someone else getting their ass kicked for once

Easy touchstone for doomsayers decrying the degradation of American culture

Although detractors decry it as a brutal, bloody form of human cockfighting, aficionados know it is a brutal, bloody, totally fucking awesome form of human cockfighting

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