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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Unbreakable Records

The assault on the home-run record is all the more remarkable when one considers that it was once thought unbreakable. Onion Sports looks at sports milestones that in all likelihood will stand forever:

Ty Cobb's .366 career batting average: Cobb's amazing feat was accomplished mostly through sheer racism; racism abolished from baseball in 1947

Cy Young's 511 wins: This record holds the all-time record for being on the most "unbreakable records" lists

Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game:  Will never be broken because today's NBA stars are team-oriented players who are not interested in selfishly accumulating individual accomplishments

Mickey Mantle's 600-foot homerun: No steroid can match the strength of whiskey

Carl Lewis' gold medal in 1984 Olympics 100-meter dash: Olympic officials confirm this event has been over for more than 20 years

Amateur golfer Jack Gosch's two holes-in-one on two consecutive shots: Though Tiger Woods has come close, no one has ever gotten two holes-in-one on a single shot

Richard Petty's 200 career racing wins: No driver has come close to Petty's record since NASCAR implemented "rules" in 1995

Johnny Unitas' 47 consecutive games with a touchdown pass: Secret to passing accuracy contained in flattop haircut; today's players unwilling to make that ultimate sacrifice

Cal Ripken Jr.'s 2,632 consecutive games played: No other player will ever have the desire to show up to the ballpark that often

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