Understanding The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

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Vol 50 Issue 28

Snowden: NSA Agents Pass Around Nude Photos

In an interview with The Guardian, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden revealed that some U.S. intelligence agents routinely pass around nude photos and other “sexually compromised” images they discover while spying on targets.

Mom $15,000 In The Hole With Ceramic Frog Dealer

Everyone in the Middle East is given their own country in a 317,000,000-state solution, NASA announces plans to launch a chimpanzee into the sun, and a local mom is $15,000 in the hole with her ceramic frog dealer.

Marriage Going To Be Hard To Go Back To On Monday

EAST HARTFORD, CT—Thinking wearily of the moment when he would have to return to the daily grind, local man Dan Zageris is already dreading going back to his marriage Monday, sources confirmed this weekend.

KKK Recruiting Kids By Handing Out Candy

According to residents of a South Carolina town, the Ku Klux Klan has been attempting to recruit children into its ranks by going to neighborhoods and leaving out bags of candy containing slips of paper with the words “Save Our Land, Join The Klan...
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Understanding The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

Tensions have quickly escalated in Gaza following the recent collapse of peace talks and the subsequent kidnappings and murders of Israeli and Palestinian teens, with Israeli citizens now threatened by daily rocket fire from Hamas while Gaza residents endure the Israeli military’s devastating airstrikes. Here is a primer to help you understand the latest conflict in the region:

  1. Palestinian neighborhood/future Israeli neighborhood
  2. Beautiful mural of three guys who blew up a bus
  3. Vast archives of past ceasefire agreements
  4. Hamas rocket platform and elementary school
  5. Territorially ambiguous pile of rubble
  6. Defensive layer of air put in place to protect Palestine
  7. Location where 65 consecutive years of violence recently broke out
  8. Angry, unemployed youth getting martyrdom pitch
  9. Tiny new settlements budding in rich West Bank soil
  10. Nonrefundable tour group just plowing ahead with this trip
  11. Best place to shout “Why?” into the smoke-filled sky
  12. Starcrossed Israeli-Palestinian lovers stealing a fleeting, tender kiss in the night
  13. 2296 Armistice lines
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