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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Unfair Technological Advantages In Sports

Michael Phelps struggled recently against competitors in high-tech swimsuits, but it was hardly the first time superior equipment gave someone an edge:

1903: Maurice Garin easily wins the first Tour de France after adding a front tire to his unicycle

1915: The Yankees' new navy-blue pin-striped uniforms not only give a slim-downed appearance to the players, but also boost the team's self-esteem, giving it the confidence to throw, hit, and field the ball

1923: The Calgary Tigers introduce the puck to hockey and nearly double their scoring output

1924:With the introduction of the "diving board" and its advanced spring action, divers no longer have to jump 25 feet into the air before performing their dives

1955: The batting helmet makes it nearly impossible for pitchers to kill batters with fastballs to the skull

1995: Charlotte Hornets Starter jackets ultimately make it way too easy for individuals to look good

1999: The Louisville Slugger company swears it has discovered a tree made out of aluminum

2001: Dale Earnhardt's unique open-faced helmet allows him to arrive in heaven long before drivers wearing the full-coverage models

2002:† LaDainian Tomlinson's visor becomes the No. 1 cause of injuries to fingers as defenders attempt to gouge or poke out the running back's eyes

2002: Oakland A's GM Billy Beane uses something called a 'computer' to track and analyze his players' production instead of playing the game the way it oughta be played

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