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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Unfair Technological Advantages In Sports

Michael Phelps struggled recently against competitors in high-tech swimsuits, but it was hardly the first time superior equipment gave someone an edge:

1903: Maurice Garin easily wins the first Tour de France after adding a front tire to his unicycle

1915: The Yankees' new navy-blue pin-striped uniforms not only give a slim-downed appearance to the players, but also boost the team's self-esteem, giving it the confidence to throw, hit, and field the ball

1923: The Calgary Tigers introduce the puck to hockey and nearly double their scoring output

1924:With the introduction of the "diving board" and its advanced spring action, divers no longer have to jump 25 feet into the air before performing their dives

1955: The batting helmet makes it nearly impossible for pitchers to kill batters with fastballs to the skull

1995: Charlotte Hornets Starter jackets ultimately make it way too easy for individuals to look good

1999: The Louisville Slugger company swears it has discovered a tree made out of aluminum

2001: Dale Earnhardt's unique open-faced helmet allows him to arrive in heaven long before drivers wearing the full-coverage models

2002:† LaDainian Tomlinson's visor becomes the No. 1 cause of injuries to fingers as defenders attempt to gouge or poke out the running back's eyes

2002: Oakland A's GM Billy Beane uses something called a 'computer' to track and analyze his players' production instead of playing the game the way it oughta be played

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