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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Unorthodox Mascot Hijinks

Ohio fans were taken aback last weekend when their mascot, Rufus Bobcat, attacked Ohio State's Brutus Buckeye without provocation. But sports has seen stranger mascot moments.

  • 1904: A mountain lion storms the Penn State football field and attacks several players and cheerleaders, riling up the crowd in a new, exciting way
  • 1986: The Bears' William "The Refrigerator" Perry becomes the first mascot ever to score a touchdown in the Super Bowl
  • 1990: During halftime, Benny the Bull does a hilarious rendition of Neil Simon's Barefoot In The Park
  • 1992: The Notre Dame Leprechaun approaches a man in a Michigan shirt and shoots him point-blank in the head
  • 1993: The significance of Michael Jordan's first three-peat is completely lost on 9-year-old Daniel Bouton, who is unable to get over the fact that he saw the Suns Gorilla dunk from the three-point line at halftime
  • 1996: Hundreds of children are scarred for life upon seeing Green Bay mascot Peter Packer, a macrocephalic butcher in a bloody apron who wields a giant foam cleaver in each hand
  • 2004: The NCAA rounds up the nation's last remaining Native American mascots and forces them to march to a reserved storage room at the Hall of Champions in Indianapolis. Due to harsh conditions, almost half die en route
  • 2008: Lovable Brewers mascot Hungry Prince Fielder delights the crowd during the seventh-inning stretch when he chases five giant sausages all the way around the Miller Park infield

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