Unscathed Tom Brady Walks Away From Car Crash In Slow Motion

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Tom Brady

Female Fans Out For Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury

FOXBOROUGH, MA—More than 90 percent of female football fans were lost for the sesaon on Sunday when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady suffered a left knee injury that will require extensive treatment. The Partriots announced Monday...

Tom Brady

Onion Sports takes a long, loving look at the man who may be the most beautiful NFL MVP of all time.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

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