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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Unusual Sports Injuries

In light of the knee injury Padres outfielder Milton Bradley suffered while arguing with an umpire, Onion Sports presents a catalog of some of the more bizarre injuries in sports:

1973: Terry Bradshaw suffers a severe migraine while trying to remember the names of his wide receivers

1982: Muhammad Ali sustains severe cranial and neurological damage after volunteering to be hit in the head hundreds of thousands of times

1990: Tigers first baseman Cecil Fielder rips off his hand while trying to remove his first baseman's mitt

1991: Rookie centerfielder Bernie Williams has a heart attack the first time a major league ball is hit towards him

1998: Wrestler Mankind apparently suffers a debilitating neck injury, even though replay after replay suggests that, while enduring the Undertaker's Tombstone Piledriver, Mankind's head never even comes close to touching the ground

1999: Davis Love III breaks both legs when, in an effort to take a shorter route to his ball, he attempts to jump a narrow stream with his golf cart

2003: Cardinals kicker Bill Gramatica (below) tears his ACL while celebrating the 44-yard halftime field goal that won him a Toyota Corolla

2005: Giants backup quarterback Jared Lorenzen suffers a season-ending injury when the bench he's sleeping on collapses

2006: Jets quarterback Chad Pennington injures himself while idly trying to see how far his arm can bend this way

2007: During a halftime ceremony honoring the great but concussion-shortened career of former New York Jets wide receiver Wayne Chrebet, the crowd cheers loudly enough to give Chrebet yet another concussion

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