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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Unwritten Rules Of Baseball

Baseball is a sport rich in tradition, and many of its most sacred rules and practices are passed from player to player. Onion Sports lists the most revered of baseball's unwritten rules:

  • Never go underneath the catcher's legs when entering the batter's box
  • A manager should be detached from the players and never once talk to or acknowledge them during the regular season
  • When a ball is hit directly up into the sky, it is customary to locate yourself beneath the downward trajectory of the ball and attempt to have it land in your glove
  • Speaking about a perfect game or no-hitter in progress is strictly forbidden; instead, gesture wildly at the scoreboard so your pitcher knows what's at stake
  • Many find it surprising, but there is no rule stating you have to wear a helmet while batting—baseball players are just superstitious
  • Secret of the infield fly rule must be kept from outsiders
  • It's bad luck to speak with a pitcher who is in the middle of his windup
  • If a batter hits a home run, the pitcher is allowed to pelt him with baseballs for the rest of his life
  • In a bench-clearing brawl, do not punch the batboy unless you are an opposing batboy or down more than 10 runs

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