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Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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U.S. Ends Combat Operations In Iraq

Last week, the U.S. occupation of Iraq officially ceased being a combat mission as the military entered the stability phase of its operations. Here are some of the major victories of the seven-and-a-half-year war:

  • Oct. 11, 2002: In the most crucial victory of the campaign, the Bush administration wins enough congressional votes to authorize war
  • Apr. 12, 2003: Statue of Iraqi track star Taffar Al Saffar toppled in front of Mosul Boys & Girls Club
  • Nov. 27, 2003: President Bush absentmindedly gnaws at prop Thanksgiving turkey while watching The New Three Stooges cartoon on portable DVD player
  • Oct. 17, 2004: Anger over the invasion and daily bombings spurs the creation of al-Qaeda in Iraq, finally producing the enemy we need to justify the war
  • Nov. 7, 2004: The second, and best, Battle of Fallujah begins
  • Nov. 11, 2006: A drone aircraft armed with Hellfire missiles foils a carefully orchestrated plan to wed Hakim Jassar al-Rawi and Sanaa Haydar
  • Dec. 30, 2006: Iraqi officials execute the most convincing of Saddam Hussein's look-alikes
  • May. 2007: 121 U.S. troops die, which is way less than 500

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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