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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
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What Does College Tuition Money Pay For?

The average cost of tuition and room and board at a four-year private university in the U.S. has risen to $39,518 annually. Here is a breakdown of where that money goes:

  • $250: Omnipresent collegiate scent
  • $40: Ream of diploma paper
  • $2,543: Laundry facilities capable of handling constant, round-the-clock loads of pajama pants
  • $25: Credit check
  • $5,000: Morgan Spurlock appearance fee
  • $0.15: Student mental health services
  • $4.40: You think all those comedy hypnotists are stopping by out of the kindness of their hearts?
  • $250: Quills
  • $8,000: Standard wasted money fee
  • $29,000: Big tall clock that goes “ding”

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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

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