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Vol 49 Issue 06

Tips For A Romantic Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Here are some tips for putting together the perfect romantic evening with your loved one: Make his favorite home-cooked meal and leave a trail of it leading to the bed. If you forgot to buy her flowers, ...

Song Crafted In The Deepest Pit Of Hell Wins Big At Grammys

LOS ANGELES—A song forged by the Ruler of Darkness himself in the blackest bowels of the accursed underworld proved to be the big winner at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards Sunday, taking home an impressive six of the music industry’s top honors, including Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance.

SeaWorld Unveils New 20 Whales Stuffed In Pool Show

A PR firm advises the United States to distance itself from Alabama, the FDA announces peanut butter contains traces of rat feces but life's weird like that sometimes, and a doomed rabbit teaches an 8-year-old about responsibility.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

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