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Politics

CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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What Is A Super PAC?

The result of two controversial 2010 federal court cases removing traditional restrictions on political action committee spending, super PACs are expected to have a significant influence on the results of the 2016 elections.
Here is everything you need to know about super PACs:

Q: What is a political action committee?
A: A PAC is a living, breathing organism that is capable of swallowing hundreds of millions of dollars and giving birth to a single American leader.

Q: What is the purpose of super PACs?
A: To counteract the excessive influence ordinary voters exert on U.S. elections.

Q: Who can contribute to a super PAC?
A: Any entity ranging in size from a small packaged foods conglomerate to a giant telecommunications conglomerate.

Q: Is there a limit to the amount of money that can be donated to a political action committee?
A: Donations are strictly limited to the amount of money the donor possesses.

Q: What do super PACs spend their money on?
A: Selflessly ensuring that voters are as informed as possible about why Assemblyman Michael Evans is the wrong choice for Albany.

Q: Isn’t it true that super PACs drown out the voices of everyday Americans with their narrow, self-serving messages, effectively crippling the democratic process and reinforcing a vicious cycle in which all politicians are beholden to multimillionaires and merely feign interest in the working and middle classes in a cynical attempt to clinch their election and advance the interests of the country’s moneyed elite, further dividing a crumbling nation already hopelessly mired in inequality?
A: No.

Q: What is the difference between a PAC and a super PAC?
A: A one-vote margin in the Supreme Court.

Q: How much does the average super PAC spend?
A: There’s no reason to ruin the rest of your afternoon learning this.

Q: What are some of the more influential super PACs?
A: Americans for America, Bucks for Bernie, Appetite for Destruction.

Q: How can I donate to a super PAC?
A: Don’t worry, they’re not for you.

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