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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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What Is A Super PAC?

The result of two controversial 2010 federal court cases removing traditional restrictions on political action committee spending, super PACs are expected to have a significant influence on the results of the 2016 elections.
Here is everything you need to know about super PACs:

Q: What is a political action committee?
A: A PAC is a living, breathing organism that is capable of swallowing hundreds of millions of dollars and giving birth to a single American leader.

Q: What is the purpose of super PACs?
A: To counteract the excessive influence ordinary voters exert on U.S. elections.

Q: Who can contribute to a super PAC?
A: Any entity ranging in size from a small packaged foods conglomerate to a giant telecommunications conglomerate.

Q: Is there a limit to the amount of money that can be donated to a political action committee?
A: Donations are strictly limited to the amount of money the donor possesses.

Q: What do super PACs spend their money on?
A: Selflessly ensuring that voters are as informed as possible about why Assemblyman Michael Evans is the wrong choice for Albany.

Q: Isn’t it true that super PACs drown out the voices of everyday Americans with their narrow, self-serving messages, effectively crippling the democratic process and reinforcing a vicious cycle in which all politicians are beholden to multimillionaires and merely feign interest in the working and middle classes in a cynical attempt to clinch their election and advance the interests of the country’s moneyed elite, further dividing a crumbling nation already hopelessly mired in inequality?
A: No.

Q: What is the difference between a PAC and a super PAC?
A: A one-vote margin in the Supreme Court.

Q: How much does the average super PAC spend?
A: There’s no reason to ruin the rest of your afternoon learning this.

Q: What are some of the more influential super PACs?
A: Americans for America, Bucks for Bernie, Appetite for Destruction.

Q: How can I donate to a super PAC?
A: Don’t worry, they’re not for you.

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