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What The Internet Will Look Like In 25 Years

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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What The Internet Will Look Like In 25 Years

This month marks the 25th anniversary of British inventor Tim Berners-Lee’s proposal for a system of hypertext, which provided the language for establishing the internet. Here’s what we can expect the internet to look like 25 years from now:

  • Going online will be as simple as shouting, “Let’s internet!” and then manually turning on your computer, connecting to the Wi-Fi network, and opening up your web browser
  • The construction of national broadband networks will give Americans greater access to online resources provided by shitty, underperforming cable carriers
  • Internet-capable learning devices such as tablets, Smart Boards, and interactive projectors will be widely used in America’s public schools, from affluent elementary and middle schools to affluent high schools and private schools
  • Ethernet cables to be up to 5 inches longer
  • Right now woodcraft.com is the premier message board for discussing woodworking, but in 2021 a rival forum will gain popularity and attract many of the community’s most respected members. However, by 2025 most of those users will return, and woodcraft.com will regain its position as the top woodworking message board.
  • Technological innovations will confirm central thesis of Meagan Harper’s Com 201 paper about people being closer but farther apart
  • John Candy’s Wikipedia page tightened up a bit
  • High-speed fiber-optic cables will allow users to ignore your web series at speeds currently unimaginable
  • Consumers may become obsessed with the technology, to the point where they are on the internet for hours each day

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