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What To Look For In NASCAR This Year

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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What To Look For In NASCAR This Year

Danica Patrick and fuel-injected cars are just two of the exciting changes NASCAR has in store for us this racing season.

  • New advances in flameproof denim and snakeskin will finally allow drivers to dress the way they please
  • Lots of brand-new Kyles, Jeffs, and Travises
  • The emerging love triangle between Carl Edwards, Denny Hamlin, and Ryan Newman is among the most compelling storylines to come about in years
  • Cars redesigned to feature excitement-inducing new blind spots
  • Five-point safety belts now mandatory on all hound-dog seats
  • Jimmie Johnson has quietly, and somewhat sheepishly, asked that everyone call him 'James' from now on
  • Hopefully someone will unfortunately and tragically die in an awesome huge marketable crash
  • All cars will be driven from the press box via remote control, increasing safety while freeing up drivers to make more appearances on behalf of sponsor

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