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What's Going On In South Carolina?

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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What's Going On In South Carolina?

Between the sex scandal that crippled Gov. Mark Sanford, the questionable candidacy of Democratic Senate primary winner and accused criminal Alvin Green, and the rumors of infidelity surrounding Republican gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley, South Carolina has seen a great deal of political upheaval. Here are some of the beleaguered state's lesser-known scandals:

  • A raid of Varnville mayor Henry Fields' residence uncovered Forrest Gump–themed home sex tapes that make use of props the production left around town back in 1993
  • Rob Miller, Democratic nominee for U.S. Representative from the state's 2nd District, has been criticized for not wearing the customary Confederate-flag lapel pin
  • Mayor John Rhodes of Myrtle Beach raising all three of his boy dogs as girl dogs
  • The state's incumbent comptroller, Richard Eckstrom, has been repeatedly attacked for his use of Arabic numerals
  • Entire state is under fire from outsiders for voting the corpse of Strom Thurmond into the Senate each election
  • City councilman George Thurston is accused of acknowledging the existence of North Carolina
  • Attorney General Henry McMaster has his 8-year-old daughter fill in for him whenever he feels the urge to play some video blackjack
  • Somehow allowed its state flag to contain one of the most racially charged images in our nation's history

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