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Politics

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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White House Unhappy With Former Press Secretary's Book

Members of the Bush staff and cabinet are displeased with the contents of former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan's new memoir, What Happened: Inside The Bush White House And Washington's Culture Of Deception. What in the book is raising their ire?

Cheney picked all the cashews out of mixed-nut bowls meant for visiting veterans

McClellan and counterterrorism-adviser-turned-Bush-critic Richard A. Clarke used to sit in back of room during cabinet meetings, rolling their eyes and surreptitiously passing a flask of bourbon

Former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld mentioned only once

Condoleezza Rice liked to head-butt foreign dignitaries in the chest

White House lawyers have been advising the president based on their interpretation of the Articles of Confederation, not the Constitution

Bush cried like a pussy when he had to fire McClellan

Chapter 28 is dedicated to his lurid fantasies about Laura Bush

Just flat-out mean sometimes

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