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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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White House Unhappy With Former Press Secretary's Book

Members of the Bush staff and cabinet are displeased with the contents of former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan's new memoir, What Happened: Inside The Bush White House And Washington's Culture Of Deception. What in the book is raising their ire?

Cheney picked all the cashews out of mixed-nut bowls meant for visiting veterans

McClellan and counterterrorism-adviser-turned-Bush-critic Richard A. Clarke used to sit in back of room during cabinet meetings, rolling their eyes and surreptitiously passing a flask of bourbon

Former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld mentioned only once

Condoleezza Rice liked to head-butt foreign dignitaries in the chest

White House lawyers have been advising the president based on their interpretation of the Articles of Confederation, not the Constitution

Bush cried like a pussy when he had to fire McClellan

Chapter 28 is dedicated to his lurid fantasies about Laura Bush

Just flat-out mean sometimes

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