adBlockCheck

Who Is California Chrome?

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Who Is California Chrome?

Legal Name: Zachary Nelson

Wingspan: 73”

Species: A horse

Pre-Race Ritual: Lasix, warm-up jog, butazolidin, xylazine, bath, etorphine, post parade

Lifelong Aspiration: To kill small man on back

Biggest Secret: Slowly growing hairline fracture

Number Of Lost College Funds Responsible For: 988

Secret Weapon: Nasal strip that allows him to breathe

Awareness Of Any Of This: None whatsoever

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close