adBlockCheck

Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
End Of Section
  • More News

Who Is Chris Christie?

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie decisively won reelection last night in a victory many pundits see as a significant step toward a 2016 presidential bid. As Christie’s prominence on the national stage rises, The Onion breaks down all you need to know about the 51-year-old Republican:

Name: Jason Paxton

Birthplace: Lifelong resident of Nebraska, from which he proudly commutes every day

Children: Bridget (2003), Patrick (2000), Sarah (1996), Andrew (1993), Kristen Bell (1980)

Number Of Times You’ll Hear His Name Over Next 3 years: 2,578,740,569

Most Important Piece Of Legislation: Gay marriage bill he was forced to allow

Biggest gaffe: “I enjoyed Hurricane Sandy very much. I particularly enjoyed how it ruined people’s lives.”

Greatest Asset: Bipartisanship

Greatest Liability: Bipartisanship

Favorite Musician With Nickname ‘Boss’: Jiří Valter—or the Big Boss—lead vocalist for Czech black metal band Root.

Christie: Brinkley

Most Recognizable Physical Characteristic: Height

More from this section

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close