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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Who Is Pope Francis?

After less than 24 hours of deliberation, the College of Cardinals has elected Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina to become the Roman Catholic Church’s 266th leader, who will be the Church’s first-ever South American pope and who will be henceforth known as Pope Francis. Here are some facts about the new pope:

Date Of Birth: December 17, 1936

Date Of Death: November 16, 2015

Number Of People Who Don’t Give A Shit What He Thinks About Anything: Approximately 5.8 billion

Spouse: Isabel Alba Bergoglio

Children: Rebecca (b. 2002), Timothy (b. 2006)

Main Goals For Papacy: Keep Catholic people Catholic, convince other people to become Catholic

Old: Yes

White: Yes

Women’s Rights: Nah

Ability To Walk Up Steps Without Help: Not great

Highest-Charting Single:“Wanna Do Ya Girl (But tha Lord is My Love),” 1989, Arista Records

Official Website: techdeals.com

What He Thinks Heaven Is Like: Mix of clouds and astroturf

Outrage Over Sexual Abuse In Catholic Church: Yeah, sure

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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