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Who Is Romney Today?

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The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Donald Trump’s Campaign: Myth Vs. Fact

Donald Trump’s political positions, personal history, and potential governing style have been the subject of much debate throughout the 2016 election. The Onion separates myth from fact in this breakdown of Trump’s campaign:

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.
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Who Is Romney Today?

Critics have long complained that instead of sticking to strong positions on issues such as immigration, federal spending, and health care reform, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has routinely changed his stance to appeal to voters. Here are some key policies on which he has flip-flopped:

  • In 1998 Romney said he'd been married to his wife for 29 years, but in a speech just last week he claimed it's been 42 years
  • Though he now argues his views have been consistent, in 2002 he stated, "I do admit I like to flip-flop, I just love flip-flopping so much!"
  • Said he didn't like eggs but then turned right around and ate half a quiche
  • Has made repeated claims on the campaign trail that he is the anti-Romney
  • Backtracked from his assertion as Massachusetts governor that poor people were human beings with emotions and feelings
  • Stated that he was a die-hard Dockers-Classic-fit-pleated man and was later spotted on the campaign trail in Dockers flat-front straight-fits
  • Has been known to tan on one side of his body for a while, then completely turn over and let his other side face the sun
  • During the 2008 primaries, he leveled repeated attacks against Sen. John McCain. This year, he has been almost completely silent on McCain
  • Renounced his front-runner status in the current presidential campaign to focus on becoming an also-ran

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