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Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
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Why The Cavaliers Lost

It seemed like the world wanted a LeBron-Kobe finals, but the Magic sent the Cavs home after six games. Here's why:

Team chemistry somewhat disrupted by LeBron James practicing in Knicks warm-ups

After the Cavs missed their first shot in Game 1, Coach Mike Brown just shook his head and left the arena

To avoid getting into foul trouble, many key players left games in the second quarter

At one point, LeBron passed the ball to a man named Tarence Kinsey

Flurry of ill-advised, off-balance jump shots didn't pay off as intended

Wally Szczerbiak broke the "Wally Szczerbiak doesn't get to shoot" rule

Thought America would just vote them into the championship round

After years of remarkable good luck fielding many successful sports franchises, karma finally caught up to the city of Cleveland

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MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

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