adBlockCheck

Why The Cavaliers Lost

Top Headlines

Sports

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Why The Cavaliers Lost

It seemed like the world wanted a LeBron-Kobe finals, but the Magic sent the Cavs home after six games. Here's why:

Team chemistry somewhat disrupted by LeBron James practicing in Knicks warm-ups

After the Cavs missed their first shot in Game 1, Coach Mike Brown just shook his head and left the arena

To avoid getting into foul trouble, many key players left games in the second quarter

At one point, LeBron passed the ball to a man named Tarence Kinsey

Flurry of ill-advised, off-balance jump shots didn't pay off as intended

Wally Szczerbiak broke the "Wally Szczerbiak doesn't get to shoot" rule

Thought America would just vote them into the championship round

After years of remarkable good luck fielding many successful sports franchises, karma finally caught up to the city of Cleveland

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close