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Why We Hate LeBron

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Why We Hate LeBron

No one denies that LeBron James is a phenomenal young talent who has turned in some almost supernaturally good performances, but he's still generally unloved by fans. Here's why:

  • Skills second only to Kobe, touch second only to Bird, vision second only to Magic, and strength second only to Russell; therefore, pretty much a worthless second-rater
  • Was supposed to be the next Jordan, but chose friendship over a monomaniacal obsession with winning bordering on mental illness
  • Does this really annoying thing where he isn't always playing on Team USA and is instead playing for the Heat so then you have to root against him
  • Significant percentage of sports fans are jealous of his high school diploma
  • Abandoned and gave up on Cleveland, albeit decades after the rest of us did
  • Makes us feel guilty for never doing anything to make Cleveland better ourselves
  • Dunked over the pope at last year’s St. Peter's Basketbasilica Jamfest, even though the game was already out of hand
  • Televising The Decision repelled and frightened the American public, most of whom have spent their whole lives trying to avoid making decisions
  • Basically, it's easier not to really think about it

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