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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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WNBA Season Highlights

Onion Sports looks back at the best moments from the 11th season of women's professional basketball:

A mere five years after Lisa Leslie's first slam dunk, the San Antoino Silver Stars' Margo Dydek becomes only the second player in WNBA history to jump

In an odd counterpoint to other sports leagues, the entire WNBA reacts to Lisa Leslie's positive test result with joy at her pregnancy

Indiana Fever sets WNBA record for most Tamikas on a roster

Rumor and speculation run rampant after Mercury star Penny Taylor is seen kissing a boy

Umm...

Everyone in the league shares the MVP award, as each of the WNBA's strong, independent women is valuable—and beautiful—in her own special way

Seattle Storm star Lauren Jackson drains all eight of her team's points in the first half

The playoff game when the ball got wedged between the rim and backboard for 25 minutes until the Detroit Palace custodian knocked it down with the handle of a broom

David Stern is one digit away from making the phone call to cancel the WNBA, but is stopped short when his wife informs him that dinner is ready

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