adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

World's Oldest Musical Instrument Discovered

Last month, the journal Nature reported that archaeologists had discovered the world's oldest known musical instrument, a 35,000-year-old flute made from a vulture bone. Here are some other recently unearthed artifacts:

Arada, Chad (160 million years old): The world's largest pebble, standing more than 8 feet tall and weighing two tons; researchers believe the rock once was a source of irritation to dinosaurs' feet

Degan, Ethiopia (1.3 million years old): The world's first pile of dirt, which was found directly beneath what was previously thought to have been the world's first pile of dirt

Bonn, Germany (90,000 years old): The oldest known folder, consisting of two thick stone tablets with a number of thinner tablets hastily stacked inside

Cairo, Egypt (15,000 years old): The first known twisty thing that keeps bread fresh was discovered in the street near the original Egyptian A&P;

Focsani, Romania (14,000 years old): World's oldest bowl thrown out because no one washed it and it got really gross

New Providence, NJ (5,230 years old): World's earliest existing scanner, fashioned out of a primitive monochromatic photodiode array connected via calf tendon to a cold-cathode fluorescent bulb

St. Petersburg, Russia (2,500 years old): First mini golf course, in which one had to hit the ball through the carcasses of a boar, duck, and dog, and then over a little bridge

Naperville, IL (38 years old): Aden Osgood excavated the world's oldest Fla-Vor-Ice from the thick layer of frost buildup in his grandmother's basement freezer

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings