World's Oldest Musical Instrument Discovered

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Vol 45 Issue 29

Wow Factor Added To Corporate Presentation

CHARLOTTE, NC—Sources confirmed that the wow factor—an intangible set of viscerally pleasing features that instill onlookers with a feeling of exhilaration and intense interest—was successfully added to this Thursday’s upcoming PowerPoint presentation.
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World's Oldest Musical Instrument Discovered

Last month, the journal Nature reported that archaeologists had discovered the world's oldest known musical instrument, a 35,000-year-old flute made from a vulture bone. Here are some other recently unearthed artifacts:

Arada, Chad (160 million years old): The world's largest pebble, standing more than 8 feet tall and weighing two tons; researchers believe the rock once was a source of irritation to dinosaurs' feet

Degan, Ethiopia (1.3 million years old): The world's first pile of dirt, which was found directly beneath what was previously thought to have been the world's first pile of dirt

Bonn, Germany (90,000 years old): The oldest known folder, consisting of two thick stone tablets with a number of thinner tablets hastily stacked inside

Cairo, Egypt (15,000 years old): The first known twisty thing that keeps bread fresh was discovered in the street near the original Egyptian A&P;

Focsani, Romania (14,000 years old): World's oldest bowl thrown out because no one washed it and it got really gross

New Providence, NJ (5,230 years old): World's earliest existing scanner, fashioned out of a primitive monochromatic photodiode array connected via calf tendon to a cold-cathode fluorescent bulb

St. Petersburg, Russia (2,500 years old): First mini golf course, in which one had to hit the ball through the carcasses of a boar, duck, and dog, and then over a little bridge

Naperville, IL (38 years old): Aden Osgood excavated the world's oldest Fla-Vor-Ice from the thick layer of frost buildup in his grandmother's basement freezer

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