adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Worst-Ever NFL Playoff Chokes

Poor performances by Tony Romo and Peyton Manning contributed to their teams' losses in the divisional playoffs, but they weren't the worst choke-jobs of all time. Onion Sports takes a look at the ones that were:

1971: The Miami Dolphins are defeated in the Super Bowl when head coach Don Shula decides against experience and starts 10-year-old quarterback Dan Marino

1979: Charger quarterback Dan Fouts is intercepted five times by the Oilers in a divisional playoff loss, which Fouts later ascribes to rookie safety Vernon Perry looking just like the guy he buys cocaine from

1991: In the most famous choke in NFL history, Scott Norwood is inexplicably unable to propel an irregularly shaped object through two raised posts 141 feet away using only his foot

1999: The Cowboys lose a playoff game at home to the Arizona Cardinals... the ARIZONA CARDINALS

2000: Kevin Dyson chokes away the Titans' chance at a Super Bowl title by not having arms one yard longer

2005: Legendary Chiefs coach Hank Stram dies at the age of 82 while trying to eat half a steak in one bite

2007: The Dallas Mavericks' stunning loss to the Golden State Warriors notable enough to mandate inclusion on all "worst choke" lists regardless of sport

2007: Peyton Manning succumbs to the immense pressure of Super Bowl XLI and is only able to lead the Colts to a 12-point victory

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close