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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Worst-Ever NFL Playoff Chokes

Poor performances by Tony Romo and Peyton Manning contributed to their teams' losses in the divisional playoffs, but they weren't the worst choke-jobs of all time. Onion Sports takes a look at the ones that were:

1971: The Miami Dolphins are defeated in the Super Bowl when head coach Don Shula decides against experience and starts 10-year-old quarterback Dan Marino

1979: Charger quarterback Dan Fouts is intercepted five times by the Oilers in a divisional playoff loss, which Fouts later ascribes to rookie safety Vernon Perry looking just like the guy he buys cocaine from

1991: In the most famous choke in NFL history, Scott Norwood is inexplicably unable to propel an irregularly shaped object through two raised posts 141 feet away using only his foot

1999: The Cowboys lose a playoff game at home to the Arizona Cardinals... the ARIZONA CARDINALS

2000: Kevin Dyson chokes away the Titans' chance at a Super Bowl title by not having arms one yard longer

2005: Legendary Chiefs coach Hank Stram dies at the age of 82 while trying to eat half a steak in one bite

2007: The Dallas Mavericks' stunning loss to the Golden State Warriors notable enough to mandate inclusion on all "worst choke" lists regardless of sport

2007: Peyton Manning succumbs to the immense pressure of Super Bowl XLI and is only able to lead the Colts to a 12-point victory

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