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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Worst Sports Teams

Onion Sports examines the most awful teams throughout the history of athletic competition.

  • 1913-2013 New York Yankees: Despite their success, never learned the true meaning of baseball
  • 1917-1992 Anaheim Ducks: This lackluster team posted zero wins over this 75-year period
  • 1972 Miami Dolphins: Have only become more insufferable over time
  • 1999 Florida State Dance Team: Absolutely no heart
  • 2002 Alverno College Women’s Basketball Team: Their 3-22 record made them the laughingstock of the NAC
  • 2007 New York Giants: It doesn’t matter that they won the Super Bowl—the Giants sucked that year and just got lucky in the playoffs
  • 2008 Detroit Lions: The Lions failed to win a single game in 2008, which only sounds bad if you consider that they were a team of paid professionals who had been playing football their entire lives
  • 2008 New York Mets: By losing 10 of their final 17 games, forfeiting their 3.5-game divisional lead over the Phillies, and failing to make the playoffs, the Mets suffered their most ignominious end to a season in nearly a year
  • 2010 Cleveland Cavaliers: How a team could fall from first in the Eastern Conference to 15th is something we may never be able to explain
  • 2012 U.S. Summer Olympics Team: Couldn’t even agree on what sport they all played and did all sorts of different things once they got to London
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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