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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Worst Sports Teams

Onion Sports examines the most awful teams throughout the history of athletic competition.

  • 1913-2013 New York Yankees: Despite their success, never learned the true meaning of baseball
  • 1917-1992 Anaheim Ducks: This lackluster team posted zero wins over this 75-year period
  • 1972 Miami Dolphins: Have only become more insufferable over time
  • 1999 Florida State Dance Team: Absolutely no heart
  • 2002 Alverno College Women’s Basketball Team: Their 3-22 record made them the laughingstock of the NAC
  • 2007 New York Giants: It doesn’t matter that they won the Super Bowl—the Giants sucked that year and just got lucky in the playoffs
  • 2008 Detroit Lions: The Lions failed to win a single game in 2008, which only sounds bad if you consider that they were a team of paid professionals who had been playing football their entire lives
  • 2008 New York Mets: By losing 10 of their final 17 games, forfeiting their 3.5-game divisional lead over the Phillies, and failing to make the playoffs, the Mets suffered their most ignominious end to a season in nearly a year
  • 2010 Cleveland Cavaliers: How a team could fall from first in the Eastern Conference to 15th is something we may never be able to explain
  • 2012 U.S. Summer Olympics Team: Couldn’t even agree on what sport they all played and did all sorts of different things once they got to London

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