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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Would-Be Assassin Ruled Unfit For Trial

A federal judge has ruled that Jared Loughner, accused of killing six people in an attempt to assassinate Rep. Gabrielle Giffords in January, is not competent to stand trial. Here are some of the factors that played a role in Loughner's medical evaluation:

  • During sessions, did not once break eye contact with the interviewer's crotch
  • All of the swastikas scrawled in his notebooks had five spokes
  • Said the Rorschach card that's clearly a crab was a scorpion
  • Still using iPhone from, like, four models ago
  • Purchased the Glock 9mm used in the shooting from Sportsman's Warehouse rather than from the far more reasonably priced Cabela's
  • Quoted Ron Paul's economic platform verbatim
  • Neighbors described him as a quiet man who kept to himself
  • Kept referring to his rights under the Constitution as if that meant anything in Arizona

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