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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Yankees Offseason Moves

After missing the pennant by one game, the Yankees have some difficult decisions to make before spring training. Here are some of the most crucial issues facing the team:

  • Refunding the season tickets Mitch from Staten Island purchased, as per his demand on Yankees fan site message board
  • Firing that complete failure Joe Girardi, that's for sure
  • Building a new Yankee Stadium
  • Opting whether to re-sign Derek Jeter or hire more stadium security
  • Doing some things that result in winning the World Series instead of not doing that
  • Deciding if they should sign pinstripes to contract extension
  • Spending weeks of sleepless nights tortured over Posada and Rivera situations, then buying an anti-aging solution from a late-night infomercial
  • Making a trip to the bank to convert cash into talented human beings like they always do
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