Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

This house ain't big enough for me and that damn lousy dog.


Aries | March 21 to April 19

I gotta tell you, if that damn mutt takes another leak on the couch, I'm gonna kill the thing with my bare hands!

Taurus | April 20 to May 20

That dog is so stupid, I swear it's gotta be the stupidest animal I've ever known.

Gemini | May 21 to June 20

Will you please shut that damn dog up? That damn mangy thing is driving me batty. Enough with the barking already!

Cancer | June 21 to July 22

I'll kick you outta this damn house with the dog! How would you like that, you miserable little snot-nosed punk?

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

Don't tell me that I scared the goddamn dog. I'm not going to let some goddamn dog tell me how to run my life!

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

C'mere, you goddamn dog! Come here right now, you frickin' dog! You damn dog

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

That damn dog! Oooh, that damn dog! Oooh!

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

I'll kill that dog, it's got me so upset. I don't think I've ever been so damn mad as I am right now at that stupid dog.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

Knock over my ficus plant, will you, dog? Get that damn dog outta my house!

Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

I'm asking you, who wanted the damn dog in the first place? It wasn't me! I hate you and that stinking dog!

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

@#!! That dog! Oooh! @#*!!!