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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Horoscope for the week of August 28, 2002

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You're a great believer in "an eye for an eye," but you don't understand why they always have to use yours.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You continue to hurt the ones you love–not because you're a weak or bad person, but because narrative logic seems to demand it of you.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will be profoundly moved by a free tin of mints from a marketing company that clearly cares very much about you.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    In the harsh light of day, your plans seem crude and childish, making it all the more obvious that you need a good planning lamp.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The story of your love life seems boring and uneventful, so Fate has decided to throw in a plane crash and swordfight toward the end.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    No matter how many children you abduct, you can't seem to garner national media attention. Next time, stick to pretty white girls.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Though you are locked in a corn-chip packaging plant with no way to escape, you refuse to think of yourself as "trapped."
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You will experience monumental shifts in your sense of self-worth next week after your value is tied to the peso.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Your suicide would have been the stuff of country-music legend if Billie Joe McAllister hadn't jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge the very same day.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You will undergo a crisis of faith when your pastor cannot explain to you why everyone at the Last Supper was on one side of the table.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You are eager to undergo hip-replacement surgery until you realize they're just going to put in another hip.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The stars see your hopes dashed, your dreams mocked, and your friends proven false, and so they say: Stop hanging out with theater people.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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